New begining

I don't know for what reason I started to speak and write in English lately. I found out that my life and my perceptions about reality and dreams are complicated and with no possible solutions. I now know that I have friends and I am not alone anymore but as long as you are not here, it is useless. You know I miss you and you do not care about my feelings. I remember I wrote about dreams and the reason why we need them in July and I try to apply those ideas now but I find very difficult to do so because things usually change. I love my window and the view but I still miss my walls and my trees from Romania. I miss my blue walls and my room. It's strange how a crossroad can create false perceptions and how it will persuade you to take the wrong decision. Someone said I need a specific topic to write about but how can I write about something when I cannot write about my own thoughts anymore... I am sick of thinking and of wanting to help everybody even though I know I will end up suffering again. I just want to rest, to sleep...

I will wake up tomorrow, drink a hot coffee and start everything from the begining....